What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed

Byinfo@kindnessrx.org

The Support & Kindness Podcast – Episode 2

Content advisory: This post discusses anxiety, overstimulation, and coping with mental health challenges.

Tools That Work

When you feel overwhelmed, start by slowing down your body (one calm breath at a time), reducing inputs (noise, notifications, multitasking), and choosing one next step instead of trying to fix everything at once. Overwhelm isn’t a personal failure—it’s often your nervous system saying, “This is too much right now.”

A reflection with Greg and Rich

When life feels like too much:

  • Notifications stacking up
  • Demands colliding
  • Your mind racing faster than your body can move

What do you do at that moment?

In Episode 2 of The Support & Kindness Podcast, Greg and Rich talk about how they personally handle overwhelm while living with brain injury (TBI), ADHD, and the everyday chaos so many of us know well. This isn’t theory—it’s lived experience, mixed with grounded tools you can actually use.

Why overwhelm can feel so intense

Overwhelm often looks like “I can’t think,” “I can’t start,” or “I’m shutting down.” That’s not laziness. That can be the stress response doing what it’s designed to do: protect you.

Under stress, your body can slide into a fight-or-flight response (or freeze, which many people experience as sudden shutdown or “going blank”). The American Psychological Association describes how stress activates systems that shift energy and attention toward survival mode—useful in emergencies, but exhausting when it’s triggered by everyday life. (American Psychological Association)

For people living with TBI, overwhelm can come with very real sensory and cognitive strain. The CDC lists common post-TBI symptoms like being bothered by light or noise, and attention/concentration difficulties—two things that can make an already-busy day feel impossible. (CDC)

And for many people with ADHD, sensory and attentional load can stack quickly. Research has explored sensory over-responsivity as a meaningful factor in ADHD for some individuals, which helps explain why “too many inputs” can create a fast spiral. (PMC)

Bottom line: overwhelm is often a capacity problem, not a character flaw.

Slowing Down: The First Step Back to Yourself

“Just the act of slowing down can make all the difference.” — Greg

Both Greg and Rich agree: when you feel overwhelmed, the first move usually isn’t pushing harder. It’s pausing.

Rich describes overwhelm as overstimulation tied to his brain injury and ADHD:

“For me… slowing down because it’s my brain. It’s because of TBIs. It’s because of ADHD. It’s overstimulation.” — Rich

And when multiple demands hit at once:

“The phone ringing, the alarm telling me that dinner is ready… a family member telling me that they want to talk to me… slowing down and figuring out what order I need to prioritize them in.” — Rich

A family cue that interrupts the spiral

Rich shared something powerful: his family learned how to recognize the early signs and gently step in:

“They put their hands up and… ‘Slow down, Dad.’” — Rich

If you have safe people around you, consider making a simple “slow down” signal together. It turns overwhelm from a private emergency into a shared moment of support.

The reframe that changes everything

“Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean that you’re failing—it means that you’re human.” — Greg

That’s not just comforting—it’s practical. Shame adds fuel to stress. Compassion creates room to choose your next step.

Grounding the Body and Mind (a small toolkit that works)

Greg shared a compact reset toolkit that helps calm a stressed nervous system.

1) Box breathing (4–4–4–4)

How to do it (2 minutes):

  • Inhale for 4
  • Hold for 4
  • Exhale for 4
  • Hold for 4
    Repeat 4–6 rounds.

Box breathing (also called four-square breathing) is commonly taught as a simple way to reduce stress and regain control of the breath. (Cleveland Clinic)

2) Cold-water reset (hands/face)

Options:

  • Rinse hands or face with cold water
  • Hold an ice cube for 30–60 seconds

This overlaps with what researchers call the cold face test—a method used to stimulate parasympathetic (“calming”) activity and reduce acute stress responses. (PMC)

(If you have a history of seizures, heart rhythm conditions, or medical concerns, keep this gentle and discuss with a clinician.)

3) 5–4–3–2–1 grounding (five senses)

Look around and name:

  • 5 things you see
  • 4 things you feel (touch)
  • 3 things you hear
  • 2 things you smell
  • 1 thing you taste

This is a widely taught grounding exercise used to anchor attention in the present moment during anxiety or panic. (University of Rochester Medical Center)

Writing It Down: Lists as Lifelines

For Rich, writing things down isn’t optional—it’s essential:

“I have a list on my computer of big tasks… but I also keep a notepad on my coffee table for what I need to do today.” — Rich

Greg relates (and laughs) about how long lists can live:

“Every now and again… I’ll find something and it will be from… 2019.” — Greg

And then the key point:

“Sometimes the act of writing something down in of itself can be a help.” — Greg

A simple structure to try

Use three sections:

  • Must do today
  • Could do this week
  • Parking lot (later / someday)

Then:

  1. Circle one task to start with.
  2. Shrink the task until it’s doable.

Examples:

  • “Write a report” → “Open a document and write one sentence.”
  • “Clean the kitchen” → “Clear the sink and start the dishwasher.”
  • “Work out” → “Put shoes on and walk 5 minutes.”

This isn’t just productivity—it’s reassurance. It tells your brain: “We have a plan.”

Protect Your Inputs (reduce the noise that fuels overwhelm)

Overwhelm loves open loops: tabs, pings, clutter, competing voices.

Try a 10-minute “input reset”:

  • Silence non-urgent notifications
  • Close extra browser tabs
  • Put your phone in another room (if you can)
  • Add a steady background sound (white noise or a calm playlist)

You’re not “being dramatic.” You’re reducing cognitive load.

Asking for Help & Setting Boundaries (early, not late)

Both hosts made this plain: ask for help before you’re burned out.

Greg offered scripts you can borrow:

  • “I don’t have capacity right now.”
  • “I need to finish X before I commit.”
  • “Could you take task B? I can’t take it all on today.”

Rich added something important: delegation can build others up. He connected it to coaching—teaching players to run complex strategies themselves isn’t weakness; it’s leadership.

And later, Rich put it bluntly:

“You overcome feeling overwhelmed by asking for help—and you learn that by failing to ask for help a few times in life.” — Rich

Caring for the Basics: HALT (a fast reality check)

When you’re overwhelmed, your needs get quiet—until they become emergencies.

Greg uses the HALT reminder:

  • Hungry
  • Angry
  • Lonely
  • Tired

HALT is widely used in recovery and relapse prevention circles as a simple check-in for the most common destabilizers. (NCBI)

Try this quick scan:

  • Food: have you eaten something with protein + fiber?
  • Water: have you had a full glass recently?
  • Movement: can you move gently for 3–5 minutes?
  • Sleep: are you running on sleep debt?

Greg described the body experience vividly:

“When I feel overwhelmed… I feel lost and afraid… my breathing labors… But even then, breathing and centering myself can solve a multitude of things.” — Greg

Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is:
eat, drink water, breathe, and lie down.
It all counts.

Reframing the Story (so you don’t spiral into self-judgment)

Greg closed with a steady reminder:

“You do not have to fix everything today. Focus on the next kind step. Small actions count, and they all add up. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough for right now.” — Greg

Here are two reframe swaps that help in real time:

  • “I can’t do this” → “I can do one small step.”
  • “Everything is urgent” → “Not everything is urgent. I choose one.”

If Today Feels Heavy…

If all of this still feels like a lot, that’s okay.

You don’t have to use every tool. Pick one small act of care:

  • Drink a glass of water
  • Take 5 slow breaths
  • Write down 3 things you need to remember
  • Name 5 things you can see in the room

One kind moment at a time is enough.

A gentle note: This article is educational and supportive, not medical advice. If overwhelm comes with seizures, fainting, chest pain, or persistent panic, please seek medical support. And if you feel unsafe, reach out to local emergency services or a trusted professional right away.

Key Takeaways

  • Pause first. Slowing down interrupts panic and gives your body a chance to reset.
  • Ground yourself. Try box breathing, cold water, or 5–4–3–2–1 grounding.
  • Write it out. Use simple lists: must, could, later.
  • Shrink big tasks. Cut the job in half, then in half again, until it feels doable.
  • Protect your inputs. Silence notifications, close tabs, reduce noise and interruptions.
  • Ask early. Delegation and clear boundaries prevent overload.
  • Care for your basics. Food, water, gentle movement, and sleep matter more than we think.
  • Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to do it all today.

Listen to the podcast

Resources

Join our weekly KindnessRX support groups

KindnessRX hosts free online support groups each week, offering a safe, confidential space to connect with people who truly understand brain injury, chronic pain, and mental health challenges.

Mondays – 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM EST

Brain Injury Support Group: Understanding Life After Brain Injury
Living with a brain injury can affect memory, mood, physical ability, and relationships. This group offers a compassionate space to share experiences and practical tips for life after brain injury.

Tuesdays – 12:00 PM to 1:00 PM EST

Chronic Pain Support Group: The Silent Struggle of Living with Chronic Pain
Chronic pain is often invisible yet relentless. This group focuses on reducing isolation, sharing coping strategies, and building resilience together.

Wednesdays – 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM EST

Mental Health Support Group: Understanding the Need for Mental Health Support
A welcoming space to talk about depression, anxiety, and emotional wellness, work on breaking stigma, and explore practical steps for healing and connection.

To see the current schedule and register, visit the Luma calendar:

https://luma.com/calendar/cal-oyT0VPlVTKCPxBwluma+1

Learn more about the broader KindnessRX community here:

Home

Registration / Schedule

  • Luma calendar:

https://luma.com/calendar/cal-oyT0VPlVTKCPxBw (Luma)

Research & Evidence (Overwhelm, Stress, TBI, ADHD)

Practical Techniques (Breathing, Grounding, Cold Water)

Tools, Apps, and Workbooks

Further Reading (Supportive, practical)

  • Grounding techniques overview (Healthline): 

https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques (healthline.com)

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